Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Zigzag gone Shackles

I'm seriously considering changing Zigzag's name (Zigzag is my German Shepherd for those of you who just tuned in) to "Shackles".  Whenever I put her on leash these days, she drags behind me like I'm taking her to slaughter. Suddenly I miss the days of her short stopping me every five steps.

She's still good ol' "Zigzag" off leash, though. She just loves to take the lead and then low-clothesline me as she stops abruptly to sniff something delicious. Thanks to her, I have come close to many a face-plant.

But, I'm not much better off if she hangs out behind me either. She sometimes grabs a huge branch, runs up from behind, and does a reverse low-clothesline with the branch, striking me at full speed behind the knee. She hasn't taken me down with that technique either, but it sure hurts!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Bachelor: Good Versus Courtney

That about wraps it up for the "most controversial" season of the Bachelor yet. For those of you who don't know, Ben upset America last night and chose Courtney. It was, however, a tight race. Had Lindzi not come on their last date dressed as a Nazi Storm Trooper, she might have very well been crying next to Ben on 'After the Final Rose'.

But, to be honest, I wasn't sure Courtney was going to get the proposal either. After seeing how things went when Ben brought the girls to meet his family, I thought there was a good chance he was going to get engaged to his sister. That whole segment made me feel kind of awkward.

Speaking of his sister/ex-girlfriend, so much for the "sixth sense about other women" she boasted about. Courtney completely white washed her. Gullibility must be a Flajnick family trait.

This finale was billed "Good vs. Courtney", but there was nothing particularly amazing or even good about Lindzi. She was a phony too. She couldn't say nice things to Ben without changing the pitch of her voice or looking in another direction. Huge signs of deception. She also wore a pound of makeup, talked way too much, and rode in on a horse.

Fast forward to "After the Final Rose" and you found out that Ben and Courtney had some relationship problems. What a shocker! It turned out they broke up temporarily because he was embarrassed of Courtney's behavior on the show.

Newsbrief: If not for Courtney being the cruel and unusual person she was and is, the show would have tanked. I'm just sayin'...

Chris Harrison asked Ben to explain some photos that had surfaced in the tabloids of Ben kissing another woman.

Ben shrugged it off and told Chris, "I never cheated on Courtney. That was just a friend."

And, by friend he meant his sister.

At the end of it all, it Ben and Courtney told America they were going to give it another shot. I hate to sound like a skeptic, but I suspect they will break up again as soon she finds a place to pawn her engagement ring.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

It's Tuesday and I'm still talking about the Bachelor...

Now who'd have thought a masculine guy like me could go on and on about the Bachelor like this? I didn't know I had it in me either.

So, as I was saying last night, Samantha (AKA Bugs Bunny) could eat an apple through a chain link fence with those teeth. And, what a loud mouth! Britnney hit the nail on the head when she compared Bugs to a chihuahua.

I'm still disappointed with Emily. I mean, she talked a good game about Ben being a chump before he took the hot seat. But, I felt like she got submissive again once he took the stage. I guess I can't blame her, though. I'm will to bet that behind closed doors he is privy to beating women. You all saw the way he talked to her in Puerto Rico, right? "Be careful" and "tread lightly"? I'd hate to see Emily with a fat lip and a pair of black eyes.

Even though Emily seems a little weak minded around Ben, I still have a soft spot for her. I think she'd got an excellent sense of humor, a lot of wit, and some dope ass emcee skills. I write some rhymes too, so it might be worth it for me to look her up in the white pages and get her to collaborate on an album with me.

The Caveman was looking particularly arrogant on stage last night. I guess he doesn't realize the party is just about over for him. It's gonna' be back to dating chicks that look like Jaclyn for him. Cos' like, I'm not a fan of Lindzi, but I think it will only take one slap in the mouth for her to leave him for good. I can't see her putting up with an abusive relationship. In fact, I think she would kick the living shit out of Ben if it ever came to blows.

Is it me, or did Kacie B. look like shit again? I'm not sure what her deal is. I kinda' remember her being really cute in the beginning of the season. It seems as if the process aged her about 15 years. Kacie B., if you're reading this, get a juicer and use it everyday -- and drink resveratrol. It will make you look hot again!

This pic wasn't from last night, but she already looks like she's 35 here.

Ok. This is the last thing about the show last night. That weirdo Jesse... the one who tried giving Ben kissing lessons... she wins the Emmy for the highest level of shamelessness in a reality tv show category. I can't believe she was still praising Ben and asking him for a booty call last night. The producers must have put her up to it.