The Avalanche and the Poop Expedition

Charlene and I heard a loud crash come from the balcony. We stopped and looked at each other. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Charlene calmly asked.

“That the balcony just fell off?” I replied.

We got up and rushed over to the sliding glass door that leads to the balcony. “HO-LY shit, baby. Do you see this?” Charlene asked.

We both looked in awe at the 8-foot high pile of snow that just fell off the roof on to the balcony.
“I think we just survived an avalanche!” I exclaimed.

The good news was the balcony was still there; the bad news was Zigzag was giving me her bathroom eyes. It was time to suit up and boot up and take Zigzag out into the tundra for a poop expedition.

“I’ll see you in a few hours,” I announced to Charlene before I exited the building with Zigzag.

Zigzag was so excited about the snow that she immediately forgot I was on the other end of the leash. “Hey! Calm down!” I commanded as she thrashed, pulled, and jumped her way through the accumulating snow.

“Look at me! I’m a wild horse dragging you through the streets!” Zigzag proudly implied by way of pulling me with such force that my arm nearly disconnected from my shoulder.

“Stop!” I asserted.

Zigzag came to a rolling halt. She turned her head in my direction and shrugged her shoulders as her eyes said, “What?”

An hour and a half later, Zigzag and I shuffled in the front door. Charlene was standing tall at the top of the stairs, supervising the removal of all things snow covered and wet. “You better take all those wet clothes off at the bottom of the stairs,” she shouted like a drill sergeant. “You better not track any snow inside!”

Down to only my dry clothes, I began to ascend the stairs. Zigzag was right behind me.
Just as I was about to reach the top of the stairs, Charlene blocked my path, extended her right arm and motioned for me to stop.

“Is that dog wet?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I replied.

I gave her the fake out and slipped right past her. Zigzag, on the other hand, got caught in Charlene’s homemade dog net that she made out of an old bath towel. Her dog net invention has a dual purpose: it both catches Zigzag at the top of the stairs and dries her off before she gets the whole place wet.

Charlene and I headed to bed. Instead of watching repeats of ‘To Catch a Predator’ on MSNBC like we usually do on Sunday nights, we decided to listen to the hypnosis CD that came with the book ‘I Can Make You Confident’. We were both in a dead sleep within five minutes of pressing the ‘play’ button.